Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Please Tell Me Why Monday's Exist

I don't normally dread Mondays. I mean, I guess I do as much as the next person, but I really dread every day of the week that doesn't start with Friday or Saturday. So when Monday rolls around I just look at it as another day that I get to go to work/school. I cannot wait until I don't have to type the words "go to school" anymore. Seriously though, a Monday, Wednesday, Friday class for three hours from 2-5? Who made those up? And I digress...
As everyone was writing or still may be writing about the wonderful weekends they had, I decided I would write and tell you all about the fabulous Monday I experienced yesterday, from the time I woke up until the time I laid my head back down on that marvelous pillow to go to sleep. Prepare yourself for some TMI because that's how my morning started.

I woke up later than I wanted to, which happens a lot so whatever. After feeding Luke and taking him out for the 143214th time that morning, I decided I better shower and look halfway decent for the world. I have to keep the bathroom door open while I shower if I'm the only one at home because that way Luke isn't locked in the bathroom and if I lock him out I think he would have a panic attack and probably eat the carpet around the door. So after I started the shower I noticed that he wasn't upstairs running around or trying to get me to play rope while I'm standing there naked like he usually does. Seriously, who is raising this dog? Anyways, as soon as I noticed that I figured something must be wrong. So being the smart person I am, instead of wrapping myself in a towel like any normal person would do, I decided just to go downstairs naked and see what he was doing. Turns out he decided to poop, I mean have diarrhea, by the door. This wasn't any normal diarrhea either. It was two huge piles of it where he started one and continued to let it out while he walked a little ways and finished his business. After yelling at him and giving him the evilest stare I could muster up, I got to work cleaning it all up. This is the first time I had to puke while cleaning up his poop so that's also super cool. All while I'm naked. I can't even imagine having children. 

I finally get to shower, but it had been running the entire time the poop fiasco was going on so by the time I actually got in the shower it was cold. Awesome. So I quickly showered. I mean quicker than I ever have because it was so stinking cold. After stepping out of the shower I grabbed my towel and thankfully looked down at it before putting it on my body because I swear to you, the largest spider ever was crawling on that bad boy. I may have screamed a tad bit, and shook it off, then killed it with one of Luke's toys that was sitting right outside of the shower. I never thought those things laying around every where would ever come in handy. 

After all of that I went to eat lunch with my Mom, Grandma, and little cousin Aiden who's 10 months old. My mom decided I should feed him while they ate since I wasn't eating and let me tell you, it was a blast. Every thing I put in his mouth he would chew up and then spit out and laugh. Like I said, I can't imagine having children. I would probably go insane. 

During class we get a 15 minute break which means I have to get some sort of junk food from the vending machine because duh, it's class which is stressful enough without some sort of chocolate or chips easing my pain. So I did my normal routine of getting a bag of chips and some cookies and while reaching into the vending machine, it pinched my arm. Instant swelling and purple/redness appeared. Like I looked like I had shut my arm in the car door or something. I wanted to cry. Instead I grabbed my chips and cookies and ate them in silence/embarrassment in class.

That night I got home and made dinner and Nick's softball game was cancelled so everything seemed like it would go fine the rest of the night. Wrong. We took the keg from Nick's party back to the store and on the way home I HAD to have a milkshake, just like every other night according to Nick. I got a larger size thinking that I could save some for tonight so I wouldn't have to bother Nick with my constant nagging about going to get one. Wrong. The second I picked it up the put it in the freezer, the bottom broke off and out came all of my milkshake onto the floor. Cool. Thankfully I have a dog who loves to clean up anything off the floor. Joking. Sort of. I did clean it all up but Luke still insisted on sitting in that spot for the next half hour licking at it like I hadn't cleaned at all. 

Thankfully 10:30 rolled around and it was time for me to rest my eyes and go to sleep. Or so I thought. Luke had me up at 12:30 and again at 2:30 until about 3:15. So now it's time to go home and take a quick nap before it's time to go back to work tonight.

How was your Monday?
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