Everything you need to (or don't want to) know about Thanksgiving

Let me start off this post by saying the average person consumes 3,000+ calories on Thanskgiving.

Umm.... what?!?!

It would take a 150 pound person running 29 miles to burn that off...

Yeah, now that I have enlightened you with that lovely piece of information let's continue

I love Thanksgiving

Although it's not my favorite holiday (see here) I do love all the food I get

The turkey, the mashed potatos, the green beans, the stuffing... I could go on and on

I also love being in a food coma ... I love eating the food then taking a nap

Then I wake up and eat the food all over again andddd take another nap

And I repeat this process throughout the entire day

Awesome, I know

Anywho, did you know that at the first Thanksgiving dinner they didn't even have forks?

Werid, but whatev

They ate with spoons and knives and their hands

They also didn't have mashed potatos (whaaa?!?!) or pumpkin pie (which I could also do without)

On Thanksgiving day Americans consume about 736 million pounds of turkey

Just on that day

I love me some turkey but holy smokes

Speaking of sleeping

I know it was a few facts ago but you know the difference

Anyways, turkey does not actually make you sleepy

It's all the carbs you consumed

Or the alcohol

Or the family

Same thing

Good news for you people out there who cook the whole meal though!

You burn about 700 calories cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal

Now if only we could stop ourselves from eating everything we just made...

Or if I could actually get up and make some of the food

I'll just sit here and eat everything and lay around

Sounds like an excellent plan to me