Thursday, May 29, 2014

I Just Didn't Like It

Hey there everyone! My name is Luke. Which I'm sure you already know because my mom talks about me way too much. It's pretty much to the point of embarrassment. I try to tell her that people don't really need to see all of those pictures of me but she says that I'm just the cutest boy ever (gag) and since her name is in the title she can do what she wants. Whatever. I'm suppose to tell you all about my adventures with my crate this weekend. Which I don't think is really that big of a deal but mom and dad seem to think differently about it. You see, this crate came with me when Mom and Dad decided they wanted me to come run their house. And I hated it. But I would go in it because they threw treats in there. And then I would whine because how unfair is that? They trick me by throwing treats into my crate and then lock me in it and leave. So of course I started to hate it more and more because I like to run around and sleep on the couch and chew on my toys. And I was stuck in the crate with a stupid Cubs blanket that my Mom said was okay for me to pee on but my Dad said absolutely not. 

Anyway, this weekend was the final straw for me. I had had it with me locking me in there and leaving me. When they locked me up on Friday to go to the zoo without me I was mad. So I did what any rational dog would do and I came up with an idea on how to destroy my crate. If they weren't going to let me go to the zoo with them then I was going to find a way to get there myself. Unfortunately, I didn't make it out of my crate, but I did do some damage. And I was proud of myself.
After Mom came back to Grandpa Rick's house to play with me for awhile, she locked me back in that stupid thing. She said they were just going to dinner and that she would be home soon. Yeah, I've heard that before. And also, why was she getting to go to dinner and I had to wait until they got home to eat? I wasn't happy, obviously, so I decided to try and fight my way out of that thing again. I took the little piece that was bent on the side and pulled it into the crate and snapped it in half. That would show them. But then when they got home Grandpa Rick decided he would fix it for Mom and Dad, which I also wasn't happy about so I tried to stop him but then Mom said "let's go outside" and distracted me. Ugh. 

So on Saturday we packed up and headed over to Grandma Joanna's to see Keely and Smudge and Goliath. I was so excited because that meant no crate and lots of play time outside. But then Dad put the crate in the back of the car. What was going on?! When we got there I got to play a lot and I was being a really good boy hoping that they wouldn't put me in that thing again. But it was about time for the Hawks game and everyone was getting ready so I knew what that meant. And then Dad went downstairs to set the crate up and put me in it. I refused to go in but since Dad is stronger than I am I really didn't have a choice. However, as soon as he turned to go up the stairs I started on that thing with my teeth. I was determined to get out of it one way or another and guess what, I did. I was up those stairs probably before my Dad could even sit down in a chair. When Mom opened the downstairs door she just laughed because she knew what had happened. But man did my mouth hurt. I guess I cut my tongue in two spots trying really hard to get out of that thing, but it was totally worth it because I would never have to go in that awful thing again. I mean, just look at it!
Success! No crate for me! They had to leave me out with Smudge and Keely and Goliath. It wasn't fair that they didn't have to go in a crate and I did anyways. And I proved myself to be a good dog while they were gone. I can't tell you what happened while they were gone because what happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's, but I will tell you that I wasn't a bad boy and Mom and Dad said they were really proud of me. 

But then my worst nightmare happened and Mom and Dad brought ANOTHER crate home from the store. What the heck humans?! Thankfully, after I was a super good boy on Sunday, they decided to take that new jail back and haven't locked me in anything since. I was able to be by myself on Sunday night and all day yesterday while Mom and Dad were at work. I was able to just lay on the couch and sleep and chew on my toys like I've always wanted. I knew if I worked hard enough that I would finally break out of that awful place. And Mom couldn't even be mad at me and even though Dad said he was reallyyyy mad, he never actually looked mad. Probably because I just sat and smiled at them.

And that's all for today folks. It's time to go back to the couch and continue chewing on the new antler Mom gave me. And then take a nap. And then be a maniac because I think my humans really enjoy it. 
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2 comments:

Melissa said...

Omg, what a crazy dog! Sounds like you'll have a lot of fun with him :) :)

Sonya said...

This was too funny! I just can't believe he did that!